Link to video: https://youtu.be/ytnw4Hsj1bE?si=W9bjyZxtHgU_3_7V
Video Credit: This transcript and inspired commentary stem from a video by Pretty Girl Discernment on YouTube. If this resonated with you, I highly recommend checking out her channel—she's bringing real conversation and spiritual truth into the spotlight in a way that hits all the right chords.
Toxic relationships don't just hurt you emotionally; they can literally drain the life out of you. Some of these women look like they've been completely depleted. People don't realize how these relationships can strip you of your spirit, not just your joy or love, but that little piece of you that keeps you going. This kind of content is powerful because it spreads awareness and helps others recognize the signs in their own lives. Yes, some parts might seem funny or relatable at first, but deep down, it's really sad. It's painful to see how many women have been through this. Some of these men will have you looking like a whole man. They will drain you to the point that you start losing your softness, your radiance, your very essence. Watching this is genuinely triggering. These women aren't just acting; this is their reality. Some people said they might be exaggerating. Nothing about it feels exaggerated or fake to me. It's raw, it's real, and it's something we need to bring more awareness to.
You cannot self-abandon. This is what happens when people keep getting in relationships and they totally forget about themselves. That trend where it's like, "Every time I reconsider dating somebody, I remember how my ex had me looking," is astonishing, but also it is reiterating something that I try and tell all the women in my lives all the time: men are detrimental to women's health, like almost as bad as cancer. They will sit and take your soul, your entire life force, all of your love, all of your beauty, and leave you with nothing and let you wither away. Like time and time again, they are detrimental to women's health. You have to find it that genuinely gives you something. You cannot give yourself, like as a woman, as a man observing women, you have to find a man that will give you something, because I promise you women can supply their own stuff. Men, women, they can figure it out. Men, they need you; they are praying on you, they are leeching off of you like demons. Release them.
Y'all know that trend on TikTok when they be like, "Oh, I want to get in a new relationship, but I remember how my old relationship had me looking." And then you scroll over, and they look tore up, they look tore down? That was not a relationship; that was just a harvesting ground to cipher your energy. Honey, I hate to tell you that the minute that you start feeling ugly, drained, and anything like that in any kind of relationship, you are being ciphered. Your energy is being drained from your body, literally. I've seen women look gray, and I had to ask, "Hey, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" I had to ask other people around me because I know when you incline and you like in two with different things, you see different things. No, they look gray.
It's like having a cup: you pouring, you pouring, you pour into that other person, pouring into that other person, but then you realize, you realize eventually, oh dang, I don't got nothing for myself. But you're so dehydrated, tired, and drained, you can't even walk. You got to pull yourself to the source to get yourself something because you've given yourself to, you giving everything to that person, but you ain't got nothing for yourself. That's what those pictures look like, okay? That person will have it over porridge in the cup that you gave it, but they will not be pouring anything into your cup. Run, run! That all that trend told you is that's how bad women energy gets siphered. And men, I'm not going to say it's only just women, men too, but don't you soon as take a break. I'm not going to say that your emotions not valid in any kind of like um um situations like relationships; they get tricky. But what I will say is take a break, give yourself a week or two to pour into yourself and see how your vitality comes back, and then you'll know if that person is really ciphering your energy. You wouldn't even want to be around that person, and you be like, "Oh, oh, this is what I look like when I'm pouring this on myself." Yes, get away from them; they're leeches sucking you dry. You'll look like a damn dust ball by the time you're done. Get away.
For everybody doing that trend, "I want to be in a relationship, but the last one had me looking like," and then they insert a picture of not their finest hour, I want to tell you why you look like the life is drained out of you. Your hair looks thin, and the color from your skin has changed. Obviously, this does not account for everybody because there are people that are just glowing in their relationship. But if you're not that person, the reason is because that person, the one that you have been dating, is actually feeding off of your energy. This is why I stress all the time: it's so important to do soul tie removal, so important to remove cords. That person's energy is leeching off of you. What you don't know is that whenever we enter into an intimate relationship with a significant other, whatever, it doesn't even need to be a significant other, it could literally just be somebody that we have ourself a time with once. There is an energy exchange, and the longer you keep reinforcing that energy exchange, the more energy the person is taking out of you, especially if they are on a lower vibration. Now your energy is not used to keeping up with theirs, and our body will always physically reject anything that is not for us, including partners, family members, anything. Any type of energy that is not for us, our body will physically reject.
So when you're in a relationship and you look like it is not your finest hour, that is your body physically rejecting that other person's energy. If you are getting sick constantly around them, if you are getting headaches constantly around them, these are all signs that your body is physically rejecting their energy. And even after you break up, you still have to cut those cords, and you still have to remove those soul ties so there is not a link between you and them, because through that link, they're sucking you dry. You ever notice how your face changed after getting into a certain relationship? Puffy, bloated, tired, looking like you don't even recognize yourself anymore? That's not just aging; that can be a cortisol phase. When you're in a constant state of stress, your body releases excess cortisol. Over time, chronically elevated cortisol can cause fluid retention, inflammation, and fat redistribution, especially in the face, neck, and belly. That puffy, swollen look, it's your body trying to keep you alive through stress. Cortisol isn't the villain; it's a warning signal, a reaction to emotional chaos. Your body is literally shifting shape under the pressure of a toxic connection.
You might also notice weight gain, constant fatigue, yeast infections that won't go away or come often, or anxiety, and even depression. Your spirit is being drained. Not every man is sent to love you; some come to steal your light, drain your power, and block your blessings. Sometimes your body will reveal the truth before your heart is ready to accept it. That's not just stress; that's your body screaming, "He's not good for you." And sometimes the most powerful detox you can do is cutting him off. Stress from a bad relationship actually ages you faster than if you were smoking cigarettes. You have to decide if this relationship is not only worth the time you're wasting, but is it worth the wrinkles? When you are under stress, your body's telomeres, which protect your DNA from aging, are broken down at a much faster rate. But if you are relaxed, and you are in a good relationship, you will slow down your aging process. You're not just wasting the time that you're with them; you are literally shortening your life. This is incredibly concerning on so many levels.
It's crazy how toxic relationships will literally change your appearance. This is something that I noticed overall just because, like in the last 6 months, I really had started feeling really lost and like not even recognizing myself, the point of like looking at old pictures, and I'm like, who is that person? This is the day that my relationship started; it's giving like she's a baddie, she knows she's a 10. I swear at that time period of my life, I was so confident, my self-love was like through the roof. This is me just a couple weeks ago. I mean, I definitely gained some weight through the relationship, but I literally scroll through my camera roll, and there's not one photo or video where I'm showing my full face. And even thinking back, like over the last few months, like it's been really hard for me to smile in like pictures or videos and stuff. And I used to go out like every weekend and take pictures and videos to create content for social media. I could feel like my self-worth like diminishing. I was like embarrassed to be like who I am as a person. I started like covering myself up more, wearing like really, really loose clothes, and just kind of became a little bit insecure in myself because of the situation that I was in. And like, it's crazy to look at these pictures and see how stressed I look in all of these like recent videos and pictures. Like, I just look so unhappy. And then I look at like old pictures, and like the energy that I'm radiating in those photos, like, I miss her.
The more you heal from that last relationship, the more clearly you see him for who he really was: not a strong, solid man, but someone pretending to be, someone who only looked confident when he was standing next to your light. He couldn't hold a deep conversation; everything about him was surface level, old stories, shallow interests, and talk about who he used to be. There was never anything new, nothing meaningful. He chased the superficial because he couldn't handle anything real. You, on the other hand, brought substance. You have depth, beauty, intelligence, and strength. Being with you made him look good. You gave him style; you made sure he looked put together because you don't walk beside chaos in public. But he didn't appreciate it. Instead of being grateful, he used you. He used your light to attract other women, women who feed on drama, who don't care about loyalty, who fight over someone not even worth it. He entertained all of them, using your presence to make himself look better.
But here's the thing: healing gives you clarity. Once your mind clears, you start wondering what you ever saw in him. You look back and think, "Was I under a spell?" The truth is, you're waking up. You're rising above the mess. Real love doesn't make you abandon your common sense. It doesn't make you lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who was never really showing up for you. Infatuation comes fast; it plays games, lies, and pulls you into fantasy. Real love is different; it's steady, honest, and rooted in reality. So don't look back. You're not blind anymore. You're not pouring your heart into someone who couldn't even bring peace. You're no longer building up men who can't even meet you where you are. You see him now for what he truly is.
Commentary: Spiritual Discernment in the Age of Energy Vampires
Watching that video hit way deeper than I expected. At first, it’s easy to laugh or nod along to those trends—like, yeah girl, I remember how my ex had me looking tore up. But when you sit with it, when you really look at the faces, the timelines, the stories behind the “before” and “after”—you realize: this isn’t just heartbreak. This is spiritual warfare.
People don’t like to use that phrase unless it sounds biblical or extreme. But let me tell you: anytime your light is being dimmed, your energy is being harvested, and your intuition is being dismissed? You’re in it.
These relationships—romantic or not—don’t just hurt your feelings. They mess with your spiritual alignment. You go from glowing to gray. You forget who you are. You start shrinking yourself just to survive. And the wildest part? Most of the time, it doesn’t happen through loud abuse. It happens in the slow erosion of your essence—through constant boundary testing, emotional extraction, and soul confusion.
That’s why discernment is everything. Because the enemy doesn’t always show up with red flags waving. Sometimes he shows up looking like love, looking like help, looking like “just going through a hard time.” But if you’re always the one pouring and never receiving, if your glow starts to dim just from being in someone’s presence? That’s not love. That’s not connection. That’s a siphon.
Energy doesn’t lie. Your body knows before your brain catches up. The fatigue. The mood swings. The “off” feeling you can’t explain. The panic you gaslight yourself into ignoring. That’s your nervous system trying to protect you from spiritual attack. And yeah—sometimes that attack comes through a romantic partner. But it can also come through a friend, a parent, a mentor, even someone you once trusted with your whole heart.
I used to think spiritual warfare looked like possession or haunting. But it’s way more subtle than that. It’s anything that tries to disconnect you from yourself. Anything that makes you question your intuition. Anything that confuses your yes and your no. And once you’re confused, once you doubt your discernment, you’re vulnerable. That’s when the siphoning begins.
So many women are walking around spiritually threadbare and don’t even know it. They’re told it’s hormones. Depression. Just stress. And nothing drives me crazier than being gaslit in that way—like our pain is just another chemical imbalance to medicate or dismiss. And yeah, sure, those things can be real… but they’re also symptoms. Symptoms of energetic depletion, of soul-neglect, of being under a kind of quiet attack that no one ever taught us how to name. And the consequences? They’re not just emotional. They’re physical. They’re spiritual. They’re life-threatening.
This isn’t about overreacting. This is about survival.
The answer isn’t just cutting cords or deleting contacts. That’s part of it—but it’s deeper. We have to start recognizing when it’s happening and where it’s coming from. That means learning the language of your own body. Not just intellectually, but somatically. Because the body will always tell the truth first. The heart will whisper it. The skin will tighten. The sleep will get weird. The joy will go silent. That is not you “overthinking.” That is your spirit sounding the alarm.
You don’t need proof. You don’t need more red flags. If it feels off, it is.
So if you’ve ever looked in the mirror and felt like you don’t recognize yourself… if you’ve ever looked at a photo and thought, “Where did she go?”—just know, she’s not gone. She’s waiting. She’s been quiet, yes—but not absent. She’s waiting for you to notice the leak. She’s waiting for you to stop negotiating your glow. She’s waiting for you to stop entertaining anything or anyone that feeds off your self-doubt. She’s waiting for you to choose you.
Because the moment you see it—the siphon, the drain, the lie that you’re “too sensitive”—you become dangerous to it. Because naming it is the first step in reclaiming your power. And once you name it, it can’t keep stealing from you without your consent. After that, it becomes a choice.
That’s what discernment actually is. Not just spiritual insight—but sacred self-respect in action.
You don’t owe anyone your energy. Especially not the people who taught you to abandon yourself to keep the peace. Discernment isn’t judgment. It’s protection. It’s peacekeeping for your soul. It’s how you start coming home to yourself again—one moment of clarity at a time.
- Shayly
This commentary belongs in the Rebel Archive because it captures something we’re rarely allowed to say out loud: sometimes the people who say they love us are the very ones siphoning our life force. And not always because they’re evil or cruel—sometimes simply because they’re asleep to their own hunger.
This is survival. And it’s discernment. The two aren’t separate. Because when you’re spiritually drained, chronically stressed, and doubting your own intuition, the body and spirit both begin to break down. Discernment is the tool that keeps us from being devoured. Discernment is rebellion. It’s the moment you stop negotiating your glow. It’s the moment you choose yourself, not as a reaction—but as a birthright.
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